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The Eggplant
Savvy Grifter Sells Red Beanies on Landis Following Red Beanie Preacher
Savvy Grifter Sells Red Beanies on Landis Following Red Beanie Preacher

Preaching about how FSU students are going to hell is not anything new.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 3, 2021
Loser Alert: Economics Major Explains Supply and Demand To Hit on Girls
Loser Alert: Economics Major Explains Supply and Demand To Hit on Girls

On Florida State University’s campus, there is a building that lures in guys that use 3-in-1 body wash, have light-up keyboards, and have serious issues talking to girls: Bellamy.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 2, 2021
HCB Skaters: Where Are They Now?
HCB Skaters: Where Are They Now?

These days, campus is a sad and lonely place

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 1, 2021
Depop Girls Selling Housing Fair T-Shirts, Described As “Vintage, Y2K”
Depop Girls Selling Housing Fair T-Shirts, Described As “Vintage, Y2K”

It’s that time of the year again. Everyone is starting to scramble to secure housing for Fall 2021, but some are profiting off of the struggle more than others.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 25, 2021
Queer Studies Class Actually Just Group Trauma Bonding With Homework
Queer Studies Class Actually Just Group Trauma Bonding With Homework

The queer studies class brings together a careful balance of students from different demographics.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 19, 2021
Girl With 74 New Year's Resolutions Still Eating Coffee and Weed for Breakfast
Girl With 74 New Year's Resolutions Still Eating Coffee and Weed for Breakfast

“New year, new me,” chant a whopping 70% of Americans that rely on the Gregorian calendar to solve their addictions, marital problems, or affinity for whatever Ronald McDonald coughs up.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 15, 2021
BFA Class Rattled: Student Comes Out as Straight
BFA Class Rattled: Student Comes Out as Straight

Classmates of junior BFA Julie Roberts are still scrambling to process the fact that their fellow ceramics student is, in fact, a heterosexual.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 11, 2021
White Guy in Your Intro To Film Class Probably Won’t Be the Next Spielberg
White Guy in Your Intro To Film Class Probably Won’t Be the Next Spielberg

With the new semester beginning earlier this week, Florida State students are preparing to learn more about their chosen fields and connect with classmates.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 8, 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes January 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes January 2021

The Eggplant astrology team is here to tell you what’s good, bad and mediocre about your first month of the new year.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 6, 2021
5 Mediocre Gifts to Get the Person No One Wanted for Secret Santa
5 Mediocre Gifts to Get the Person No One Wanted for Secret Santa

It’s that time of the year again; the time when your group chat decides it would be a fun idea to test the ties of friendship in the name of giving a reason to the season!

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 8, 2020
SLC Gamers Explain Why Social Distancing Isn’t Even Hard
SLC Gamers Explain Why Social Distancing Isn’t Even Hard

Everyone has been having a hard time dealing with the pandemic: social distancing, wearing masks, and of course, all those people who lost their lives.

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 7, 2020
10 Holiday Gift Ideas for the Guy Who Has Been Stringing You Along for the Past Couple of Months
10 Holiday Gift Ideas for the Guy Who Has Been Stringing You Along for the Past Couple of Months

College dating can get messy. With apps being the main means of meeting other fellow singles, situationships have become the new relationships.

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The Eggplant FSUDecember 3, 2020
Friend Who Sleeps Until 3:00 Every Day "Excited" for 9:00 AM Class They Won't Attend
Friend Who Sleeps Until 3:00 Every Day "Excited" for 9:00 AM Class They Won't Attend

With this semester reaching an end, many students are excited about the possibilities and learning opportunities of new classes.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 30, 2020
“I Think Jesus Was Gay” and Five Other Ways To Spark Thanksgiving Conversation
“I Think Jesus Was Gay” and Five Other Ways To Spark Thanksgiving Conversation

With all the chaos of 2020, conversation won’t be lacking at the Thanksgiving table this year.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 24, 2020
Shocking: Girl Who Has “Empowered Women Empower Women”  in Her Bio Is Actually a Raging Bitch
Shocking: Girl Who Has “Empowered Women Empower Women” in Her Bio Is Actually a Raging Bitch

This week, some of our writers were tasked with spotlighting positive women leaders in the FSU community to spread support among our female peers.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 23, 2020
A Stuffed Turkey, COVID-19 and Other Things You Can Bring Home To Your Family This Thanksgiving
A Stuffed Turkey, COVID-19 and Other Things You Can Bring Home To Your Family This Thanksgiving

Parents that expect their kids to bring something back with them from college for good ol’ Thanksgiving Break (while also knowing they can’t even afford Easy Mac) are the stuff of nightmares.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 23, 2020
Your Boyfriend is Leaving You for the New Xbox
Your Boyfriend is Leaving You for the New Xbox

The end of 2020 marks a significant period in console history as the newest hardware for Xbox and Playstation series is being released worldwide.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 20, 2020
Non-Binary Student Shakes Up Women's Studies Majors
Non-Binary Student Shakes Up Women's Studies Majors

Academics battle college’s antiquated format each time a student evokes the magic word ‘elitist.’

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 18, 2020
Roommate Who Doesn’t Do Dishes Wants to Know Why There Are Flies in The Kitchen
Roommate Who Doesn’t Do Dishes Wants to Know Why There Are Flies in The Kitchen

College on its own can be a hectic roller coaster of emotions. Add a messy roommate to the mix and you have drama straight out of a 90s sitcom.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 16, 2020
Roommate Going Through Breakup “Starting To Feel Better” for the 4th Time This Week
Roommate Going Through Breakup “Starting To Feel Better” for the 4th Time This Week

Having a roommate is an honor that comes with many privileges: paying less rent, having someone to notice if you went missing, and a person who you can talk to about anything.

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The Eggplant FSUNovember 16, 2020
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  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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