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The Eggplant
Op-Ed: My Strange Addiction: Buying Too Much Produce and Then, When It Inevitably Goes Bad, Ritualistically Throwing It Away With My Roommate While Going “We’re So Terrible” Over and Over
Op-Ed: My Strange Addiction: Buying Too Much Produce and Then, When It Inevitably Goes Bad, Ritualistically Throwing It Away With My Roommate While Going “We’re So Terrible” Over and Over

Save for the meal prep demons and whoever Hello Fresh is advertising to, I’d say we all have our dietary vices.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 8, 2021
A Compare and Contrast of Extreme Living Conditions: Last Three Weeks of Semester vs. Dust Bowl
A Compare and Contrast of Extreme Living Conditions: Last Three Weeks of Semester vs. Dust Bowl

As many Florida State students may know, the spring semester will soon come to an end.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 6, 2021
Guy Who Posted Vaccine Card Has Never Posted Girlfriend of 2 Years
Guy Who Posted Vaccine Card Has Never Posted Girlfriend of 2 Years

Good news: people are slowly starting to get vaccinated which means that things are on their way back to normal.

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The Eggplant FSUApril 1, 2021
Area Man Keeps Single Condom in Wallet Just in Case
Area Man Keeps Single Condom in Wallet Just in Case

COVID-19 has scorched the dating pursuits of many-a-horny college student at FSU.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 30, 2021
House Cat Totally Confused by Ongoing Beer Pong Game
House Cat Totally Confused by Ongoing Beer Pong Game

The beginning of quarantine was tougher for some people than it was for others. To cope, many took on lifelong commitments, whether that be light alcoholism or adopting a whole ass cat, or maybe even both.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 26, 2021
Breaking: The Three Girls Looking for a Fourth Roommate on Facebook Are Actually in a Cult
Breaking: The Three Girls Looking for a Fourth Roommate on Facebook Are Actually in a Cult

Go on any Facebook class page, and you will find the infestation of roommate ads consuming your feed.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 25, 2021
Friend Who Jokes About Doing Hard Drugs Actually 100% Serious if You’re Down
Friend Who Jokes About Doing Hard Drugs Actually 100% Serious if You’re Down

Avid ASAP Smoke Shop enthusiast and ‘casual’ local stoner Bridget ‘Biggie Smokes’ Geoff enjoys a good kickback as much as anyone.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 19, 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes March 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes March 2021

Happy anniversary to the bitch who can’t stay out of everyone’s mouths and immune systems: Miss Rona!

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 18, 2021
It’s St. Patrick’s Day: The Perfect Way College Students Are Justifying Their Alcoholism This Week
It’s St. Patrick’s Day: The Perfect Way College Students Are Justifying Their Alcoholism This Week

While the Ides of March may have passed by without a single politician being stabbed, the next chaotically meme-worthy holiday is already upon us.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 17, 2021
Indie Guy Would Totally Kiss a Man if He “Had To”
Indie Guy Would Totally Kiss a Man if He “Had To”

Converse, beanies and suede jackets are the proud emblems of the indie male: a soft boy who trots his open-mindedness and wokeness by using such words as “insofar” and “writ large.”

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 15, 2021
Is Model UN Just LARPing?
Is Model UN Just LARPing?

Have you ever wanted to lead a committee meeting on drone laws in Pakistan? Or discuss the impact of capital punishment in the Marvel Universe? Probably not.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 11, 2021
Local Art Ho 5 Days Clean From Going to House Shows
Local Art Ho 5 Days Clean From Going to House Shows

With the quarantine anniversary coming up and COVID still not going away, people haven’t been able to gather in large groups for a while.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 8, 2021
Freshman Boy Reviews “Promising Young Woman” **Spoiler Free**
Freshman Boy Reviews “Promising Young Woman” **Spoiler Free**

After months of delays due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Emerald Fennell’s directorial debut “Promising Young Woman” has finally hit streaming services.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 1, 2021
Man With Neck-Beard Insists Women Should Shave More
Man With Neck-Beard Insists Women Should Shave More

Tyler Warren, a proud men’s rights advocate, has recently spoken out about ‘a new plague’ that threatens our youth.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 25, 2021
Lonely Singles Are Happier, Reveals Study Done by Lonely Single
Lonely Singles Are Happier, Reveals Study Done by Lonely Single

FSU has remained academically significant for different factors, one being the major findings achieved by its Psychology research findings.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 17, 2021
Young Woman Arrested for Murder on Valentine’s Day, Claims Mercury Was in Retrograde
Young Woman Arrested for Murder on Valentine’s Day, Claims Mercury Was in Retrograde

At 8:00 pm on the night of February 14th, one of the most toxic days of the year, 21-year-old Lola Mason was found dead in her bathroom after not showing up to her big V-Day plans.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 15, 2021
5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day with the Guy You’re Just Having Sex With
The Eggplant FSUFebruary 14, 2021
BREAKING: Girl Still Finds a Way To Fantasize About Classmate in Asynchronous Class
BREAKING: Girl Still Finds a Way To Fantasize About Classmate in Asynchronous Class

While online schooling has drastically affected all aspects of campus life, its impact on classroom crushes has been devastating.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 11, 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes February 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes February 2021

We’re one month into this new year that is 2021 and, as we predicted, things haven’t really changed all that much.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 9, 2021
Professor Under Fire After Disabling Little Confetti Feature on Canvas
Professor Under Fire After Disabling Little Confetti Feature on Canvas

In recent news, a local Florida State University professor has been labeled problematic following their decision to remove the confetti feature when students submit homework on Canvas.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 5, 2021
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  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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